2012 + 2013 resolutions

I'm starting to feel sorry for myself, which is never a good thing. 

Last night, right after I spilled my drink all over my laptop, I realised how tragic I have let myself become. 

Over the past few weeks, I have been working like crazy while everyone is out enjoying the sun and spending time with their family and friends. Not complaining about work though, it is one of the busiest times of the year in retail and I like earning money so I can blow it on unnecessary materialistic items. Regardless of how many hours I work, I still get a couple of days off work in which I can spend however I want. Except I choose to stay at home and do nothing. I have become so antisocial I don't even bother trying to contact people to hang out or sometimes even step out of the house.

I realised that I have unconsciously pushed everyone away that has tried to get to know me better, which leaves me having no close friends in Sydney. I know that if I make more of an effort this would not be a problem, but I actually quite like being alone. But still. 

The place I am staying is such a hole. For some reason, it has become dirtier and there are more insects around. Not sure if it is because of the weather, but I blame the new guy that recently moved in. Before he moved in, I had not seen any cockroaches around. Last night, I saw two. And a massive spider. I need to leave this place. Only 2 months left.

I did so horrible in my exams its not even funny. My WAM has been pushed down so much, I couldn't get into law through program transfer. If I had continued to do as well as I did in my first semester, I would've gotten in. I slacked off so much this semester, I am so disappointed in myself. But on the other hand, I was so relieved to see that I did not fail anything. Sigh, my standards have dropped so much.

Longest rant ever (you are warned)

Big talk with H the other night about a certain someone. Seems like a never-ending problem.

This wouldn't be the first time I've blogged about her. I just don't understand; why is our friendship more complicated than everyone else's? There is no doubt that we have drifted apart over the years, but there is still something that is stopping our friendship from being completely over - her grudge against me.

 For some reason, something I did in the past have made her so bitter towards me. Honestly, hearing about all this has made me quite angry. During my week back in NZ, all I did was try to be nice to her, but hearing what she has to say about me to other people just makes me even more fed up with everything.

Details, details. I am going to make a list. Though, its going to be short.

(This post may seem like a complete bitch-fest, but blogging is just my way to vent)