Flying Chickens of Evil

I hate pigeons. They are everywhere.
I have developed a fear and hatred of pigeons ever since I started school at EGGS. Oh and seagulls too. Can't forget them.

Reasons why I don't like pigeons:
(I apologise in advance to any pigeon-lovers. But seriously, go find a puppy to love okay? Pigeons aren't worth your time.)


1) PIGEONS ARE EVIL. Their creepy little eyes, their sharp beaks that eat everything in sight, the disgusting sound they make when they flap their wings. Evil. They are so pointless. They stroll around like they own the place. Ugh, can I just shoot every pigeon I see, roast them and feed them to the hungry and starving in third world countries? Then pigeons will be of some use - for once in their insignificant lives. Pigeons should just die in a hole - no one will miss them.


2) Pigeons are inconsiderate little bastards. They crap everywhere. Why do they do that? Seriously, why do that kinda business while flying in the air?! It's like they TRY to aim their crap at people, and then laugh at them from above. Evil.
I guess I'm lucky enough to have gone through five years at EGGS and not have a pigeon poop on me, but I can't say much for others though.


3) Pigeons aren't afraid of people. Well, at least the ones at EGGS aren't. You can pretty much walk next to them and they wouldn't fly away. WHY? Why can't they be scared of humans so I won't be scared of them? Why can't they just run off when we go near them? 
Once, at lunchtime, we were just sitting around talking. AND OMFG, THERE WAS A PIGEON CASUALLY RESTING BEHIND US. WTF. (I wonder who took pictures ...) 
You know how a chicken sits on their eggs to keep them warm? Yeah, like that. Ew.
I think that bird hated being a pigeon, so it wanted to J.I. with us, pretend it was one of us humans. That's how much life as a pigeon sucks.


Oh, and some pigeons fly really low. Aren't they scared they will fly into people? Cus I am. I don't want to get into an accident with a pigeon.

4) The pigeons at EGGS are the most disgusting. THEY ARE FREAKING MUTILATED LOOKING. 

- Pigeons + seagulls = ♥

I swear, pigeons at our school mate with the seagulls, and have the most RETARDED looking sea-geons, or pige-gulls. 

I don't want to discriminate, but these birds should just breed within their own species aye. They make some pretty UGLY looking babies.

Where do these seagulls even come from??? I thought they nest in places near water, like the ocean or something - hence the name SEAgulls. Do they fly all the way to our school just to land on the field?? 

In the holidays, when I went to school for dance practice, OMG I SWEAR THERE WERE LIKE A HUNDRED SEAGULLS ON THE SCHOOL FIELD, JUST STANDING THERE. Like flamingos. It was so weird.

-Pigeons at our school look like they've been in a war or something. Many of these birds are covered in dirt, with their feathers all messed up. Oh, and some have a leg missing. Ew.
Is there really that much competition for some bread crumbs left on the filthy ground?


- There are some really retarded fat pigeons - How do they even fly? Their wings must be really strong to carry all that weight.


5) Pigeons like to wander in our school corridors. They like to casually walk into our classrooms, and scare the living hell out of people. 
In biology class last year, one crazy pigeon decided to stroll in and disrupt our 'intense bio-filled' lesson. (If I remembered right, we were discussing with the teacher about how much of a fag Gordon Ramsy was on Hell's Kitchen. Or maybe it was how mean Simon was on American Idol? Biology with Ms. Webber - very educational ♥)
It was such a hectic 30 seconds. The pigeon got scared and just started to fly everywhere. Everyone started screaming and one girl tried to lead the pigeon to the door.
When that was over, we looked over to the front of the class - where we saw no teacher. 
Guess where she was? SHE GOT SCARED SO SHE HID, HAHAHAHA
She poked her head from under the desk and asked "Is it gone?" LOL. Nice Ms. Webber, nice.
Man, that was the highlight of the class. I miss biology with my cool cats :( 
(I need to do a post about the fun times in Bio, before I forget it all)


What if pigeons take over the world? Cus I know that they can. Except, they are too stupid. If pigeons gathered up, and plotted against humans, we would be screwed. They would peck at us with their beaks, claw at us with their, uh, claws and we will die of a horrible death. Murdered by a pigeon, or pigeons.


Okay, I'm thinking too much now. I guess what made me write this post was when I saw the question on Formspring "If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?"

You know what I would get rid of?

PIGEONS.